Volume 2, Number 1 -- January, 1997
by LeighAnn Arndt
I was wearing nothing but my favorite pink baby doll nightie when those pesky aliens up and abducted me.
Could they give me a few minutes to get dressed? Of course not; they were aliens. I couldn't believe the nerve of those little green stinkers. Here I was, with the goodies put on display, and they wanted to display them in an alien zoo.
Well, to be entirely honest, I thought that it would be an alien zoo. I truly didn't know that they'd been talking about a brothel.
I'd finally convinced them to let me talk to their leader, captain, whatever the heck they called him. I figured that I could ask him for more appropriate clothing. I figured that he wouldn't want me scaring off the kiddies.
Here I am, babbling away and what passed for a mouth on his face seems to be smiling, either that or maybe he was going to eat me, when this flunky slithers up and hands me this tissue paper to wear.
Okay, I thought.Maybe it's their version of an exam gown. They probably want to examine me for earthly diseases. So, after some ruminating, I decided to go along with the deal and follow tentacle face down the hall. That was one of many big mistakes.
Tentacle face led me into this room full of assorted aliens and I'll tell you that you don't want to know what they were doing. How should I put this? It had something to do with tissue paper, ahem, lingerie and some mature Earth magazines like, oh say, Penthouse. At least that's what I could make out from seeing all those mixed up body parts, I think they were parts and not play toys.
So, one thing leads to another, and before you know it, I'm the leading porn queen on planet Zartos and on, ah, well, King Zartos. Our little illegetimate offspring is due any day. If one day, late at night, when you're watching cable television and you see this cheesy Sci-Fi flick with a scantily clad heroine that looks like me; well, you've plugged in to our ten at night news.
Take good care of yourself. Oh yeah, don't wear pink baby doll nighties. You never know what could happen.
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