Last Modified: Jan 6, 1996

The Top Twenty Reasons Why Chocolate is Better Than Sex

  1. You can GET chocolate.
  2. "If you love me, you'll swallow" has real meaning with chocolate.
  3. Chocolate satisfies, even when it's gone soft.
  4. You can safely have chocolate while driving.
  5. You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
  6. You can have chocolate in front of your mother.
  7. If you bite the nuts too hard chocolate doesn't mind.
  8. Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being called nasty names.
  9. The word "commitment" doesn't scare chocolate.
  10. You can have chocolate on top of your workbench/desk during working hours without upsetting your work mates.
  11. You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.
  12. You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
  13. With chocolate there's never any need to fake it.
  14. Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.
  15. You can have chocolate at any time of the month.
  16. Good chocolate is easy to find.
  17. You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.
  18. You are never too young or too old for chocolate.
  19. When you have chocolate late at night it doesn't keep your neighbors awake.
  20. With chocolate, size doesn't matter and it's always great.

Hey! If you liked this, visit the
The SCROOMtimes
lots of new stuff we know you'll love!

Comments? Questions? Thoughts on the meaning of life? Let me know!

copyright © 1996 Andrew Wallace