WIFE SPEAK

Last Modified: Oct 1, 1995

Subject: Wifespeak

For your info, here are some standard "wifespeak" phrases and their English translations.

Wifespeak English

You want You want

We need I want

It's your decision The correct decision should be obvious by now

Do what you want You'll pay for this later

We need to talk I need to complain

Sure... go ahead I don't want you to.

I'm not upset Of course I'm upset, you moron.

You're ... so manly You need a shave and you sweat a lot

This kitchen is so inconvenient! I want a new house.

I want new curtains ...and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper, and...

I need wedding shoes the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white

Hang the picture there NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise I noticed you were almost asleep

Do you love me? I'm going to ask for something expensive

How much do you love me? I did something today you're really not going to like

I'll be ready in a minute Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV

You have to learn to communicate Just agree with me

Are you listening to me!? [Too late. You're dead.]

Yes No

No No

Maybe No

I'm sorry You'll be sorry

Do you like this recipe? It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it

Was that the baby? Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep

I'm not yelling! Yes I am yelling because I think this is important

All we're going to buy is a soap dish? It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new pocket books, and OMIGIOD there's a sale in lingerie, and wouldn't these pink sheets look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?

In answer to "What's wrong?"

Nothing The same old thing

Nothing. Nothing

Nothing! It's just that you're such an asshole.

Everything. --Everything

Nothing, really. My PMS is acting up.

I don't want to talk about it. Go away, I'm still building up steam.

Wifespeak	English
You want	You want
We need	I want
It's your decision	The correct decision should be obvious by now
Do what you want	You'll pay for this later
We need to talk	I need to complain
Sure... go ahead	I don't want you to.
I'm not upset	Of course I'm upset, you moron.
You're ... so manly	You need a shave and you sweat a lot
This kitchen is so inconvenient!	I want a new house.
I want new curtains	...and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper, and...
I need wedding shoes	the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white
Hang the picture there	NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise	I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me?	I'm going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me?	I did something today you're really not going to like
I'll be ready in a minute	Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
You have to learn to communicate	Just agree with me
Are you listening to me!?	[Too late. You're dead.]
Yes	No
No	No
Maybe	No
I'm sorry	You'll be sorry
Do you like this recipe?	It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it
Was that the baby?	Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep
I'm not yelling!	Yes I am yelling because I think this is important
All we're going to buy is a soap dish?	It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new pocket books, and OMIGIOD there's a sale in lingerie, and wouldn't these pink sheets look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?

In answer to "What's wrong?"
Nothing	The same old thing
Nothing.	Nothing
Nothing!	It's just that you're such an asshole.
Everything.	--Everything
Nothing, really.	My PMS is acting up.
I don't want to talk about it.	Go away, I'm still building up steam.

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