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Welcome to the SCROOMtimes November 2001 edition! We're glad you stopped by. Like most of you, we are are trying to get back to some semblance of normalcy after the tragedy of 9/11. It hit us hard. The offices of the 'times were at a standstill for the first day or two, we watched it over and over on CNN, flipping channels to see if it was real, if maybe this was a bad joke that we could expose by finding some reporter laughing his ass off somewhere.

But it wasn't to be.

Yet here, we are, thumbing our noses in our own way at the terrorists who try to change us.

In this issue:

Skippy tells us why his life is like a television show. Why it hasn't been cancelled, we'll never know....

And Dave tossed a new Cheap Seats at me when he showed up at the office recently, complete with his Raiders jersey and ugly hat, cigar clenched firmly between his teeth. When I asked why his sports column wasn't about sports, he just glared at me, so I let it go, just this once. But please address all letters and cease and desist notices from Cosmo to - I don't want to see 'em.

Our Feature this time around is deconstruction of one of those myriad e-mails that get passed about the internet like snowflakes in a blizzard. Our own publisher got off his ass and wrote something this issue - please read it, he gets bitchy if you don't.

Also, in an attempt to "Art this place up", as Skippy says, we have included poetry by a very talented poet, Colleen Rinehart. We hope to see more of her stuff - let us know if you agree!

And, once again, in Meltdown, Matt Sedik proves what a strange, strange man he is...

That's the whole enchilada! Take a look around, and make sure to discuss these columns around the water cooler. That is, if you haven't been laid off.