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Volume 2, Number 11
December, 1997

The BackPage The Eleven Commandments of Football Fandom

by Your SCROOMers

 As any football fan (read "American male") knows, NFL football is more than a sport. It is, in fact, a religion. With it's own rituals, it's pantheon of saints, indeed even it's own gods. What many don't realize is that football in fact has it's own set of commandments. Little known of to the nonbelievers and the dilettantes. Inscribed on the bottom of the Lombardi Trophy are the holy words of the football world. Now, in order to spread the light and the joy that is the NFL, our crack staff, through great personal sacrifice and tribulation, have procured these commandments and now release them to you...our loyal readers...worship well.
  • Thou shalt have no other sports before me.

  • Thou shalt honor the Sabbath

  • Thou shalt honor thy team and thy conference

  • Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's quarterback

  • Thou shalt not have false allegiances and unsightly uniforms

  • Thou shalt not leap upon the bandwagon

  • Thou shalt not wager against thine own team

  • Thou shalt not abandon one's team

  • Thou shalt not wear thine enemies' garb

  • Thou shalt not advocate punting on fourth and one

  • Thou shalt not hate the Green Bay Packers

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