Buy a Damned T-Shirt!
Volume 1, Number 3.1
January, 1998

The BackPage Fresh Dessert

by Nik Trajkovski


 1 Yourself
1 NightClub
2 Girls
10+ good quality lines (the more the better)
Lots of humour
90g of Chocolate Body Paint
1 Cup of whipped cream

 Find a neat little nite club to work with, otherwise known as the mixing bowl. Find two girls and wait until the first has gone away to get a drink. Slowly mix yourself with 1 girl and slowly throw in some lines. Add a little humour and stir. For some reason, the girl will like being stirred a little. I must say that at this point, you will notice there are lines and there are lines. Get the best quality lines you have and leave the cheap ones for a sure thing.
 You may notice that the girl and yourself don't quite mix together at first, however, don't be deterred, they normally are a little hard to work with. This may also have something to do with the quality of the lines your using. Throw in some more humour and by this stage you should have mixed in your ingredients so they almost blend.
 By the time the second girl, her friend, comes back, your mix should be looking quite appealing. Throw in some more lines and more humour you should be ready for the next stage.
 Take girls back to their place. You'll find they are easier to work with. You can further relax the girls by massaging them with your hands, just like dough. You should notice the girls getting a little hot, this is the desired result. After about 30 minutes or so, apply the body paint to all parts of the body and dab the whipped cream onto a few selected parts only.
 Voila! Now you're ready to eat! Bon Appetit!!!!
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