Volume 3, Number 6
The Truth is Overrated
It's a great time to be a paranoid. All these new drugs which can
regrow hair, cure impotency, cure cancer, make you lose weight...
Then they make you have heart attacks, nerve damage, and go blind.
The Gulf War, leaks about CIA operations, everything Clinton has ever
done, and a thousand other ideas leak into our skulls and grow there
It is tantalizing to think that some of the nuttiest conspiracy
theories may be true. And astounding when the truth comes out, and
actual conspiracies are unearthed. What sounds more preposterous,
that the Department of Energy conducted radiation testing on humans,
or that the FBI assassinated JFK? Which is more likely? Which is
I love a good conspiracy. Here are my favorites.
- The CIA Sells Drugs.
The Central Intelligence Agency -
The are a government organization, but they are so secret that they
can build million dollar sites without congress even knowing. If you
are a conspiracy nut, you have to love these guys. They have their
own spy satellites, they know where Saddam Hussein is at any given
moment, but they can't stop Columbia from producing cocaine? Remember,
this is the agency that was smuggling heroin during the Vietnam war in
operation Air America. They also found money for the Contra's when
the legitimate source from Congress dried up.
- The Illuminati are Running the World.
We know that
money can buy anything (except, reportedly, love), and that money
frequently does buy everything. We also know that a very, very small
percentage of people are so terrifyingly rich that they can lock
themselves away beyond the reach of any law enforcement agency idiotic
enough to take them on. All that money. You could influence leaders
that way. You could buy puppet leaders who follow your every order.
These are the folks who destroyed the Asian economy by suddenly selling
their stocks (causing the prices to drop) and then rebuying them after
the panic set in.
- The Religious Right Developed AIDS.
I'm not quite
sure where it says so in the Bible, but apparently all homosexuals are
going to Hell, because every religious zealot I have ever met told me
so. Imagine if, in some way, the wrath of God could be, ummm, assisted,
by introducing a virus which strikes people down for their sins. This
conspiracy is so tantalizing because we all know that even if the Rolex
wearing JAAYYY-ZUS freaks didn't invent AIDS, they sure do appreciate
- The HAARP Project
The High Frequency Active Auroral
Research Program is a large facility in Alaska, where the Navy is
building several towers similar to Tesla coils. They will bake the
ionosphere, but why? You can bet the US Military is not interested in
looking at a pretty Borealis night sky. My bet is that it's a weapon
for Information Warfare to screw up missile guidance and satellite
systems. But it could also be used as a signal to our alien overlords.
Links to Make You Think
America's Drug Dealer: The CIA
The Assassination of JFK
AIDS as a Weapon of War
Human Radiation Experiments