Volume 4, Number 5
May, 1999
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You may be a redneck Jedi if....
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by Your SCROOMers |
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In the finest Backpage tradition, and in honor of the impending release of The Phantom Menace, we hereby present more stuff taken from the mass of e-mail we get. May it be Forced Into You!
- You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."
- Your Jedi robe is camouflage.
- You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.
- At least one wing of your X-Wing is primer colored.
- You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
- You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.
- The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.
- Wookiees are offended by your B.O.
- You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.
- You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.
- Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the dark side...it'll be a hoot."
- You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.
- You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder.
- You ever fantasized about Princess Leah wearing Daisy Duke shorts.
- You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window.
- You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.
- You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with redwood decking.
- You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene.
- If you hear . . "Luke, I am your father ... and your uncle"
Copyrights 1996, 1997, 1998, 1999 by the Author, and SCROOMcomm, Ltd.