Volume 4, Number 5
You may be a redneck Jedi if....
In the finest Backpage tradition, and in honor of the impending release
of The Phantom Menace, we hereby present more stuff taken
from the mass of e-mail we get. May it be Forced Into You!
- You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."
- Your Jedi robe is camouflage.
- You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.
- At least one wing of your X-Wing is primer colored.
- You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
- You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.
- The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.
- Wookiees are offended by your B.O.
- You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't
have to wait for a commercial.
- You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.
- Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the dark
side...it'll be a hoot."
- You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy
to get the barbecue grill to light.
- You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder.
- You ever fantasized about Princess Leah wearing Daisy Duke shorts.
- You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in
through the window.
- You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.
- You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with redwood
- You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene.
- If you hear . . "Luke, I am your father ... and your uncle"