Last Modified: Jul 19, 1996

Why A Cucumber is Better than A Man

Finally! David Geoffrion sent me this - I've been waiting for it! it is the perfect compliment to Why A Beer is Better than A Woman . Enjoy!

  1. Cucumbers can stay up all night, and you won't have to sleep in the wet spot.
  2. Cucumbers don't play the guitar and try to find themselves.
  3. You won't find out later that your cucumber (a) is married, (b) is on penicillin, (c) likes you -- but loves your brother!
  4. A cucumber won't care what time of the month it is.
  5. A cucumber never wants to get it on when your nails are wet.
  6. Cucumbers don't say "Let's keep trying until we have a boy".
  7. Cucumbers won't tell you size doesn't count.
  8. A cucumber won't leave you for a cheerleader or an ex-nun.
  9. Cucumbers don't fall asleep on your chest or drool on the pillow.
  10. Cucumbers don't care if you make more money than they do.
  11. With a cucumber, the toilet seat is always the way you left it.

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copyright © 1995 Andrew Wallace