Volume 4, Number 2
Human Brains Are Not Y2K Compliant!
A page of history is worth a volume of logic
There has been a great deal of concern lately about the "Year 2000 bug" which could affect millions of computers when we hit the next new year. If there is anyone out there that doesn't know, the problem arrises from older programs which were forced to save memory everywhere they could. In these programs, the author often only used 6 digits to describe the date, such as 07/06/99. After the year rolls over from 99 to 00 in these programs, all kinds of things could happen.
I recently saw on CNN a piece about a couple living in California who are stockpiling food for the coming year. Apparently, they fear that nuclear devices may launch on their own, or power may go out, or banks may lose all account information, or any of a million other things. This couple is not alone, as approximately 38 percent of people in a recent poll fear riots or political unrest, and another 9 percent fear the end of the world.
Well, friends, you can all stop worrying about computer glitches and power outages and riots. You can even stop worrying about the end of the world, because it just doesn't matter. Human brains are not Y2K compliant.
Now stop worrying! You are not going to melt on January 1, 2000. Your normally bright and imaginative grey matter is not going to wink out like a old flashlight. As a matter of fact, you should be extremely proud of yourself if your brain is not Y2K compliant, and you should now be focusing your efforts on helping those around you who are Y2K challenged.
How can I tell if my brain is Y2K compliant? Well, I have put together this little test which can help you determine how you will handle the new millenium. Please answer each of the following questions as truthfully as you can.
The Y2K Compliance Test for Human Brains, by Pelican Smith
If you answered all B's, congratulations -- Your brain is fully Y2K compliant. Now go away.
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