A friend in Los Angeles put his mind to the oft-experienced problem of
facing modern situations for which there are no existing words or phrases
in the English language. The following are his suggestions for some
situations to which we might all be able to relate.
- arachnoleptic fit, n:
- The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally
walked through a spider web.
- Beelzebug, n:
- Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom
at 3 in the morning and cannot be cast out.
- bozone, n:
- The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas
penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign
of breaking down at any time in the future.
- cashtration, n:
- The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially
impotent for an indefinite period.
- caterpallor, n:
- The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're
- dopelar effect, n:
- (1) The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when you come
at them rapidly.
- (2) The tendency of stupid ideas to seem
smarter when they come at you rapidly.
- extraterrestaurant, n:
- An eating place where you feel you've been abducted and
experimented on. Also known as ETry.
- foreploy, n:
- Any misrepresentation or outright lie about yourself that leads
- Grantartica, n:
- The cold, isolated place where arts companies without funding
- intaxication, n:
- Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize
it was your money to start with.
- kinstirpation, n:
- A painful inability to get rid of relatives who come to visit.
- lullabuoy, n:
- An idea that keeps floating into your head and prevents you from
drifting off to sleep.