Well it's been awhile hasn't it? I know what you're all thinking. After having the last three months off and a host of topics to choose from, surely I am going to come with the sort of life altering sports column that will stay with you forever. Uhhh...no, see sometimes you run into the problem of having too much to deal with. Sometimes it's like walking into Baskin Robbins and not being able to pick just one of the thirty one flavors. That's what the last three months have been like. John Rocker, my beloved Colts' playoff fortunes, a killer SuperBowl, a new football league, the Red Sox offseason moves, the Rangers' resurgence, the list goes on and on and quite frankly I can't pick just one. So I am going crap out and give you a random sporting thoughts column and try to do better next time, really, I will, I swear.
John Rocker - I'm sure that it has all been said over and over again. I am sure that you have heard all of the arguments for and against, but try this one for size. Let's say that you are at the water cooler (OK, it's the 00's fax machine) and suddenly you spout, word for word, Rocker's little diatribe. How long do you think you would be employed?
My beloved Colts - You know, someone actually said to me that I must be disappointed at my beloved Colts' early exit from the playoffs. Disappointed? Me? Is he insane? My beloved Colts went 13 and 3 and won their division and sent three offensive players to the Pro Bowl. Hell, this season will have me on cloud nine for the next three years.
The NBA - Is there anybody out there that still cares about basketball? Please write me if you do. I'd like to understand the fascination.
The SuperBowl - What to say, yes I lost a ton of money betting on the game, but you know, it was really was worth every penny. I haven't heard anything from all those writers who said that these two teams shouldn't be there.
The XFL - Call me crazy, but I for one will take any football that the Gods wish to grace me with, XFL, NFL Europe, USFL, Arena Football, hell I don't care, just so long as the uniforms don't suck too badly.
Tiger Woods - OK, he is amazing, I still wish they would have waited to give him all those endorsements until after he got good, but what the hell, I guess he's earned them now.
The New York Rangers - After an early season flirtation with sucking, the Rangers are in the thick of the playoff hunt. Here is an early season vote for Mike Richter for MVP.
The Red Sox - Things look good this season. Of course the preseason publications will still pick the Sox sixth in a five team division. That's OK though, I'm not bitter.
DirectTV - For anyone that still seeks proof that there is indeed a God, order any one of the fine sports subscriptions from the folks at DirectTV. Every night there is some form of professional sports on my television. Yes I have gained thirty pounds, yes my friends no longer speak to me, yes all of my interpersonal relationships have drifted to nothingness, but professional sports EVERY SINGLE NIGHT OF MY LIFE!!! Screw people, who needs 'em.
Murder Inc. (AKA - The National Football league) - Here's a thought to all of you newly minted millionaires. A friend would not offer to kill someone for you, got that? A real friend would tell you that you were a freakin' loon for even suggesting something that jeopardize your career and the rest of your life. Actually that would be a good test, ask all those people that are hanging out at your house if they could off your girlfriend for you, if they say yes, kick them the hell out the door.
The NHL - You have enough teams that suck already, do you really need to add two more? For God's sake, if you want less than three quarters of the teams in your league to go to the playoffs you don't add more teams, you let fewer into the playoffs, got it?
The NHL pt. II - On the other hand, you have to give credit to a league that is bright enough to retire the number of the greatest player that ever lived in any sport.
Well that ought to do it for this sixty. I promise to have topic ready next time, or at least some links to some porn.
Dean's House of