Last Modified: June 2, 1996

Skippy's Guide to Life and Eternal Happiness

Clever Skippy Icon


Hey kids, the ol' skipster here. It has been a long time since I graced your pathetic, little lives with my particular blend of humor and compassion. I apologize for that, but you see, well actually I just had better things to do. Sorry, but I have a life, you should try getting one yourself, you might like it. At any rate, it is time to get down in it,on it, with it, whatever pick your's topic is...personal responsibility!!!! I know, I know, you're sitting there thinking, "whoa how exciting, he's going to give us a lecture," my friend are absolutely correct. It is tirade time, why? Because I can, that's why. Why will you read it? Is it because deep down you appreciate my message? probably just think if you keep reading I'll get funny again. Keep the faith baby, you never know.

Back to the topic at hand, what the hell is it with this country today? Check that, what the hell is it with this world today? Is it me or did somewhere along way we lose the all important concept of "you broke it, you bought it." I mean come on kids, I know life is tough and all but you made your choices didn't you? There wasn't anyone with a gun following you around for the last twenty years forcing you into your career, your relationships, your whatever? I think it's sad that we have so little respect for ourselves that we can't even say, "yes I did it, I screwed it up, let's move on." Don't you think that just once in your life that it would be fun to take control and be responsible for your decisions. Think how liberating that would be for all of us, if we could all be man enough to say, "no, I don't think a lawsuit or an apology is really necessary, because driving with a cup of steaming hot liquid in between my legs is a reeeeally stupid thing to do and if you'll excuse me I'm going to go and soak in a nice cool bath."

Just think folks, take back your life. "I didn't really want this career, but seeing as how I was completely spineless when it came to making decisions for my own future, I suppose I can't really blame anyone but me." See, it's just that simple. The next time you have the urge to rail against fate for the sorry lot that you've been handed. Stop and think from whose hand it actually came. Usually you will find that if you trace a problem back to it's source, it started with you making a bad decision. That's not to say we should be perfect, let's face it, most of you aren't bright enough to make good decisions on a consistent basis. The point is that you make choices on how your life is going to be lived, if it doesn't turn out the way you wanted it to, then quit your pathetic, "I'm a victim," sniveling and do something about it. Quit the damn job, divorce the bastard, put the kids up for adoption, you bought the ticket now take the ride.

It felt good to get that off of my chest, you realize of course I wasn't talking about you right? We're still cool aren't we? I wouldn't want you to get the impression that I was under the impression that anyone cultured and intelligent enough to read my little column was a pathetic, sniveling, little victim. Because I don't think that at all, no it's all those other people, the ones that aren't reading this right now, they're the snivelers. Good, I'm glad we're clear on that. We'll see you next time and don't forget to drop me a rant kids, til then...


Back to the Tank

Skippy's Columns:
Skippy Looks at the TV Season
An Open Letter to Mr. Bob Dole
Let us Bow Our Heads in Prayer
The Family Column
Random Ideas
Why is Skippy Here?

Questions, problems, concerns? (complaints you can keep to yourself, I have enough problems) write skippy!

copyright © 1995,1996 Dean Shutt

Page maintained by Me