Hey kids, Skipster's back again. It is time now for my traditional
"Year in Review" of the late, lamented network television season. I don't
do a review of cable because I live in a cave and only get six stations.
There was a lot of talk this year of how bad TV was, well I want to
tell you kids, don't you believe it. Why on Friends alone,
we had Ross and Rachel get together not once but twice, Joey become
semi- famous, Brooke shields as a psychotic stalker (did Agassi get
a writing credit on that one?), Julia Roberts as Chandler's babe
du year (and this season her career will appear on ER), the
emergence of Gunther the mad espresso boy, Tom Selleck shtupping
Monica (Ross and the Doc in the girls robes need we say more) and
the romantic moment of the year, Chandler and Janice round four!!! So
you see kids, the entertainment was there in droves, you just had to
know where to look. With that thought in mind, let us descend into
the vast wasteland of network the TV and mine us some fun.
Best romantic moment - This one was no contest, the
second Ross & Rachel kiss. Handled beautifully, with no advertising
whatsoever, those wacky folks at
Friends took us completely by surprise. On top of all that,
it was well done to boot.
Why is this show still on -
The Single Guy. All together now, can we say "scheduling".
If this wretched excuse for a comedy had to stand on its own it would
have been dead inside of three weeks.
Quietest new show - The Drew Carey Show.
Check this one out! It is a Friends knockoff, but who cares,
Why is this show still on, pt. II - Ellen.
OK, they finally introduced some decent characters, and the opening
credit shtick wasn't bad, but this has got to be one of the worst
uses of a stand up comic since Jay Leno and the Tonight show.
Maybe yes, Maybe no -
Caroline in the City.
Some truly great potential, Richard the tortured artist as comedy,
Charlie the requisite brain dead delivery guy, Dell the requisite
overly macho dude, Annie's a little over the top as the slutty
neighbor (but with her outfits, who cares?).
Why didn't we think of this sooner -
replacing The Single Guy, proof that
there is a god. I'll give you one line: "and when you say her name
over and over it sounds kinda like a pogo stick - JoyJoyJoyJoyJoy."
(this is a woman he likes, by the way).
Old Faves -
Best hospital show - Nope. Gotta be
- way more bizarre than
Sports - The last second hail mary in the AFC title
game. As a Colts fan, half of me was praying for him to catch it and
the other half was hoping he'd drop it. You see, the significant other
is a Cowboys booster (didn't I say somewhere that women don't get
football) and I really didn't need the Superbowl thrown in my face
Best TV movie - who can tell, they're all the same
thing. Neil Patrick Harris plays a teenage arsonist with a life
threatening disease who falls in love with that annoying chick from
Life goes On (who also has a life threatening disease).
Best miniseries - were there any miniseries this year?
Best drama - they all pretty much sucked. Am I the
only one that's sick of cops, doctors and lawyers on TV?
Best show on FOX ('cause no matter what they say, it will never
be a real network) - Partners &
Ned and Stacey
- two shows that deserved better than FOX.
Leno vs. Letterman - c'mon now, have you tried to
watch Jay Leno recently?
The show that really ought to pack it in and collect the
residuals - Family Matters. It's never been that
good, and now that Urkel is seven feet tall and his voice still hasn't
changed... Geez folks, even Fonzie learned to read there at the end
of Happy Days.
Weirdest show -
to say, a Mountie working with the Chicago PD. They actually had an
episode that revolved around horse rustling in Chicago. Not to mention
the mountie's dead father that keeps popping up.
The best of the best -
Overexposed as it was, they kept topping themselves from week to week.
Forget Seinfeld - this show is THE comedy on television
today. If you don't believe me, just hum a few bars of smelly
cat and see if that doesn't change your attitude.