Last Modified: Jun 19, 1996

Skippy's Guide to Life and Eternal Happiness

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Skippy's Network TV Review


Hey kids, Skipster's back again. It is time now for my traditional "Year in Review" of the late, lamented network television season. I don't do a review of cable because I live in a cave and only get six stations. There was a lot of talk this year of how bad TV was, well I want to tell you kids, don't you believe it. Why on Friends alone, we had Ross and Rachel get together not once but twice, Joey become semi- famous, Brooke shields as a psychotic stalker (did Agassi get a writing credit on that one?), Julia Roberts as Chandler's babe du year (and this season her career will appear on ER), the emergence of Gunther the mad espresso boy, Tom Selleck shtupping Monica (Ross and the Doc in the girls robes need we say more) and the romantic moment of the year, Chandler and Janice round four!!! So you see kids, the entertainment was there in droves, you just had to know where to look. With that thought in mind, let us descend into the vast wasteland of network the TV and mine us some fun.

  • Best romantic moment - This one was no contest, the second Ross & Rachel kiss. Handled beautifully, with no advertising whatsoever, those wacky folks at Friends took us completely by surprise. On top of all that, it was well done to boot.
  • Why is this show still on - The Single Guy. All together now, can we say "scheduling". If this wretched excuse for a comedy had to stand on its own it would have been dead inside of three weeks.
  • Quietest new show - The Drew Carey Show. Check this one out! It is a Friends knockoff, but who cares, it's funny.
  • Why is this show still on, pt. II - Ellen. OK, they finally introduced some decent characters, and the opening credit shtick wasn't bad, but this has got to be one of the worst uses of a stand up comic since Jay Leno and the Tonight show.
  • Maybe yes, Maybe no - Caroline in the City. Some truly great potential, Richard the tortured artist as comedy, Charlie the requisite brain dead delivery guy, Dell the requisite overly macho dude, Annie's a little over the top as the slutty neighbor (but with her outfits, who cares?).
  • Why didn't we think of this sooner - Boston Commons, replacing The Single Guy, proof that there is a god. I'll give you one line: "and when you say her name over and over it sounds kinda like a pogo stick - JoyJoyJoyJoyJoy." (this is a woman he likes, by the way).
  • Old Faves - Frasier, Murphy Brown, Seinfeld.
  • Best hospital show - Nope. Gotta be Chicago Hope - way more bizarre than ER.
  • Sports - The last second hail mary in the AFC title game. As a Colts fan, half of me was praying for him to catch it and the other half was hoping he'd drop it. You see, the significant other is a Cowboys booster (didn't I say somewhere that women don't get football) and I really didn't need the Superbowl thrown in my face all year.
  • Best TV movie - who can tell, they're all the same thing. Neil Patrick Harris plays a teenage arsonist with a life threatening disease who falls in love with that annoying chick from Life goes On (who also has a life threatening disease).
  • Best miniseries - were there any miniseries this year?
  • Best drama - they all pretty much sucked. Am I the only one that's sick of cops, doctors and lawyers on TV?
  • Best show on FOX ('cause no matter what they say, it will never be a real network) - Partners & Ned and Stacey - two shows that deserved better than FOX.
  • Leno vs. Letterman - c'mon now, have you tried to watch Jay Leno recently?
  • The show that really ought to pack it in and collect the residuals - Family Matters. It's never been that good, and now that Urkel is seven feet tall and his voice still hasn't changed... Geez folks, even Fonzie learned to read there at the end of Happy Days.
  • Weirdest show - Due South. What's there to say, a Mountie working with the Chicago PD. They actually had an episode that revolved around horse rustling in Chicago. Not to mention the mountie's dead father that keeps popping up.
  • The best of the best - Friends. Overexposed as it was, they kept topping themselves from week to week. Forget Seinfeld - this show is THE comedy on television today. If you don't believe me, just hum a few bars of smelly cat and see if that doesn't change your attitude.

Well that's it kids! I tried to deal only with shows that are actually going to be back next year. I don't see any sense in telling you something was great if you can.t watch it. Till next time, remember; we don't need lives - we have TV!


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Skippy's Columns:
Skippy Looks at the TV Season
An Open Letter to Mr. Bob Dole
Let us Bow Our Heads in Prayer
The Family Column
Random Ideas
Why is Skippy Here?

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