Hey Kids! Skippy here with you once again. What do you think of our fine new digs? Not that we really care what you think, but the pathetic swine that edit this rag forced me to mention the redesign in my column. Since they keep me fed, I figured that discretion was the better part of valor in this case. So go ahead and send us an email and tell us what a wonderful job we did...or we will show up at your house and relieve ourselves on your begonias.
At any rate it's time to talk once again about everyone's favorite topic, the Ol' Skipster. It's been an all right couple of months kids. Got me a new job, a new car, a new debt free lifestyle and a new womanfriend. All in all August and September have been pretty good to me. As a matter of fact, you could say they have been great. Yes, yours truly ought to be walking on sunshine right about now. And yet, I feel unsettled, like a foreboding sense of doom is floating just outside of my otherwise halcyon existence.
I've been pondering this for a while, as I am wont to do, and finally I realized what this sense of impending disaster means. We are but a few short months from the start of the presidential primary campaign. In February of aught-aught the smiling slicksters will descend on us once again and promise the promise of the future for the small price of just one vote.
Now my regulars know that far from being wary of this event, normally I am foaming at the mouth in anticipation of the once every four year circus that we laughingly refer to as the presidential election. After all, what could be more amusing than watching nicely dressed, smart boys making absolute boobs of themselves for what is essentially an underpaid figurehead position.
It is different this time around though. This time there is a danger lurking out there that we do not fully comprehend. There is a slightly better than fifty-fifty chance that the next man to take the oath of office will be none other George Something-or-Other Bush the Second...or Third...like I said, I've been busy lately. Why does this otherwise harmless white guy frighten me so you ask? I'm not sure to be honest with you. There is just something eerie about this guy. I've seen him speak a few times and there is just something not right about him. It's almost as though he were receiving signals from somewhere else and the connection is bad.
I know what you're thinking, this is just another liberal anti-Bush screed. But you are wrong (there's a shock), I'm not saying he is evil, I'm merely saying he's not right. There is something odd going on there and I would rather not find out what it is halfway through his first term.
I suppose it would help if I actually knew where he stood on, well on anything really. But, being a nineties politician, Jr. knows that the way to get elected is not to tell people what you would actually do once you are in office. That's the way to become a star on the lecture circuit, not the President of the United States.
Maybe that's what is bothering me. The fact that we as a people not only don't demand that the folks wanting lead us explain what they would do with the power, but that we actually punish them if they do tell us what they think. It's pretty simple folks, demand nothing from your leaders and that is exactly what you are going to get. Empty, vapid haircuts whose only desire is to cling to power for as long as possible. Slick talking salesman who can speak more intelligently on Nielsen ratings than on public policy. What we are not going to get are the sort of visionary leaders that we need to succeed as a nation.
Yes, I think maybe that is what's bothering me. It's either the imminent demise of the democratic process in America, or the fact NBC actually renewed both "Veronica's Closet" and "Jesse". It's tough to tell at times.